Sighs

Some well meaning people have been telling me to not waste tears. My question is this: CAN tears be wasted? My tears are happy tears, sad tears, hurt tears; you get my point. But all of these emotions make us human don't they? I know that the words are to make me feel better but... So really can tears shed on these emotions be wasted? Even the Bible says that "to everything there is a season; a TIME for EVERY purpose under Heaven...". Sometimes a real guttural cry, like the one that I had the other night over a number of different things that happened all at once, REALLY feels nice. But, the emotions drip over into the next day and the next...when is it "normal" to stop crying over stuff that you have no control over? Why is it so hard to give that control over to the One who promised to take that for us? I listened to Pastor Bob's message online from way back about Romans and how "everything works together for the good to those who Love God and are called according to His purpose." I do love God. I do want His will. It's just so hard to know which direction "things" are going to go in order to be fully in His will. It's written that when we are in His Will, things are better than we can even imagine. My reality seemed pretty great until a few things occurred that threw a wrench into my week. It will all work out...I am confident of that. But in the interim....GEEZ! *sigh* I guess that's why one of my favorite verses is Hebrews 11:1..."Now faith is being sure of what we hope for...and certain of what we cannot see..."
Blessings on your day...

The Perfect Night...

Last night was the best! Rob and I went to the Charlie Daniels Band concert at the fair. It was really good. I wasn't sure whether either one of us would like it but I am so glad that we went! The boys were sat by Rob's kids and they had so much fun! All I heard about today was his kids and how the boys wanted me to call and have them come over and how they couldn't wait to see them again...my boys really like his kids alot. They like him too; so do I...lol.

I also went on my very first ferris wheel ride EVER!!! I was fine til we actually climbed in. Then I started to have a minor panic attack...lol. Rob was so good and calmed me down. By the time the ride was almost over I was really starting to enjoy it. Too bad it was so expensive or I'd have wanted to do it again. Regrettably, we didn't get any photos from the top...that's my fault. I asked Rob to take one for me as "proof" or a "remembrance" or whatever since my phone was in my pocket and I was holding onto him "for dear life"...lol. So, he started to pull his hand away from mine to reach into HIS pocket to get his phone and I grabbed his hand back and said, "No, no, no, no...never mind!"...lol. We had a good laugh over that. Sometimes I really hate being so afraid of heights. I wish sometimes that I could just get in line, ride a roller coaster over and over and over and at the end of the day..go home with stories. I go home w/ stories alright, but they are different...lol. I am glad we went on the ferris wheel. It WAS fun and now I "know" that I won't die next time. hehe

I am in much need of a workout. MUCH! lol I really want to go hiking too. Vacation week is coming soon so hopefully some fun will happen over that time. For now though, my eyes are telling me it's time to close them and drift off to dreams of "happyland"...inside joke.

God Bless.

Another morning

I haven't done much this morning but get up and get ready for work. I am sitting here, listening to Canon in D, thinking of someone who that song is special with, and wondering if he is dreaming happy dreams. He deserves to. Sometimes, especially as a single parent, it seems that we go unappreciated, unnoticed, are used by those who love us the most. But in truth, the very times that we are thinking these things, someone somewhere is watching us...and applausing our efforts. Someone sees us for who we really are and appreciates everything we do; for them and for others. And one day, the ones who we feel don't appreciate us, will grow to a point in their lives when they can "safely" (w/o sounding "gay"...lol) tell us how much they love and appreciate us for everything we do and did...even when, at the time, they acted like they couldn't give a carp. Yes, I meant to spell it that way...lol. And when it's all said and done, as long as we are doing the right things, and looking to God for guidance, we will sit back and say "yeah, remember when..." and look fondly on ALL the memories. The present is sometimes weird to deal with...but the past is easier to look back on and see that we actually weren't messing up like we thought. Looking back, we see things from a different perspective and are able to even appreciate ourselves for getting through those feelings and continuing on...and yes, even laugh. God loves us. His Will is Perfect. He will never give us more than we can handle. He promised us that. I thank Him for that...and so much more. Life without God is futile. Life with God is full of hope and promise. I promise!!! :) Blessings on the day...live it for Jesus. Amen.

*sigh*

Well, the boys are on the Oregon Coast with their dad this week. I really hope that they are having a good time. Today they were supposed to go to a lighthouse and the aquarium. I miss them. They will be back soon though! I can't wait to hold them. My upstairs neighbors are soooo loud right now! I'm about to say something. They've been gone for a while and it's been sooo nice. That's one of the things I don't like about my condo. I'd prefer a standalone, one family house. Just can't afford one. The other thing is lack of windows. My perfect house would have LOTS of BIG windows!!! I love to be able to let the light in from outside and to see puffy clouds from my windows...can't do that here. Hopefully my next place will have that. I guess I'm feeling a little down. With the boys gone and Rob not feeling well...I hate it when people I care about don't feel well. I've prayed that God would relieve Rob's headache. That's all for now.

Amazed...

I am continually amazed at how God works. Even when things seem to be going any way BUT the way that I want, He is there to remind me that I am in His grasp and He will work out the details accordingly. He has blessed me (well, everyone) with beautiful sunrises lately and the other day a GREAT sky of puffy clouds. It had been a while since I'd seen a REALLY good puffy cloud due to the heat and fires in the area but look --->

at that picture! AWESOME!

Personally, things are going really well. Work has been picking up and I've been able to spend alot of time with a very special man whom I care alot for. God has just been really faithful through ups and downs in life and it's nice to know that He is on my side.

The boys are doing great. They are definitely "brothers" who love each other one moment and drive each other (and me in the process) crazy the next. But, you really can tell that they love each other through it all. It's my prayer that they will grow up as best friends. When it comes down to it, their friends will not always be there for them unconditionally but siblings should be. SHOULD be. It doesn't always happen which is sad. But, I pray that my boys will always be there for each other. Always; through anything.

God bless you all!